Ellen

Season 2

Episode Description
THE DENTIST Adam is beginning to feel confined by his latest "steady" relationship and contemplates breaking up with Joanna after he notices other women appear to be attracted to him. Ellen is furious that Adam would treat Joanna this way, and she announces that she intends to maintain her friendship with Joanna! After Adam strikes out with all those women he imagined were attracted to him, he begs Ellen to use her friendship to convince Joanna to get back together with him. Reluctantly, Ellen agrees and is able to put Adam and Joanna together, only to have Adam again confide he has cold feet and really wants to break up with Joanna. Meanwhile, Ellen is attracted to the dentist who is repairing her broken tooth, and her inhibitions are loosened by the nitrous oxide.
SAINT ELLEN Paige hears about a movie premiere party and convinces Ellen and Adam to crash it with her. Reluctant at first, Ellen agrees to go, only to be confronted by a security guard. Reading upside-down from the guest list, she adopts the identity of a bona-fide guest. Feeling terrible about lying to get into the party, especially after she wins the grand door prize, Ellen begins to volunteer her time with a homeless group by packing "care packages" for a charitable organization. Of course, like Lady Macbeth trying to wash the blood off her hands, Ellen can't do enough and eventually drives everyone at the charity crazy.
THE THIRTY-MINUTE MAN Worried about her friends' reactions when they discover she's been dating Kenny, the pizza delivery guy, Ellen begins compensating by making his job seem more important than it really is. Sensing Ellen is ashamed of his chosen profession, Kenny suggests it might be better if they not see each other. At first Ellen agrees but comes to realize she misses the guy.
THE NOTE While conducting her weekly reading group, Ellen discovers a note that reads, "I don't like Ellen, do you?". Ellen can't believe anyone in the group might not like her and goes on a quest to find the person. Ellen finally confronts Phil, who reveals that Ellen said some derogatory things about his toupee. Ellen can't even remember saying anything but apologizes for hurting his feelings. At the next session, Ellen does everything to steer clear of the subject of hair and, of course, plows right into it, revealing to the group that Phil wears a toupee, which no one even suspected. Meanwhile, Adam discovers he has a better relationship with a woman he's been dating when they're talking on the phone than when they are in each other's company. He is delighted to learn the phone girl is moving away and the relationship will have to be conducted over long lines.
THE FIX-UP Ellen goes on a blind date with a former childhood friend, the class "weirdo", who turns out to be very nice guy. At dinner, however, one incident after another plagues Ellen and jeopardizes her new relationship. Adam mistakenly enters a photography contest for women only and ends up having to wear a dress. Paige misplaces her boss's BMW, and Ellen is accused of car theft.
SO FUNNY Adam's longtime friend from New York, a very funny nonstop talker, comes to visit. Theresa brings out Ellen's competitive streak, and, after Theresa overhears Ellen's cutting assessment of her to the group, she decides to return home to New York. Embarrassed and remorseful, Ellen follows her onto the plane to apologize. Paige dates a man who has different ideas about how to make their "first time" really special.
THE TOAST Ellen throws a rehearsal dinner for her brother, and during her toast innocently brings up his previous engagement - a fact his fiancee wasn't aware of - putting the planned nuptials in jeopardy.
ADAM'S BIRTHDAY Ellen throws Adam a surprise birthday party. Surrounded by successful friends from college, Adam realizes his life and career are not what he would like them to be. In an effort to shake out of his rut, Adam moves out of the apartment and becomes the manager for a retirement community. Ellen finds the apartment empty without Adam, and Adam discovers that working at a retirement home ages you rather quickly. Eventually, Adam and Ellen both realize that, after 12 years of living together, it's time for them to live apart. However, the transition will be gradual - Adam will move into the apartment across the hall.
THE TRAINER Paige asks Ellen to pretend to be a personal trainer for her boss, who is a feature executive. When he becomes impressed with Ellen's training and her literary prowess, Paige feels unappreciated and quits her job. Ellen pitches a feature idea to the executive, and when he discovers it was Paige's idea, he insists on rehiring her as an executive. Meanwhile Adam is being harassed by needy tenants.
MRS. KOGER Ellen is being harassed by an elderly woman in her apartment building, who accuses her of making too much noise. Shortly after Ellen confronts her, the woman dies, leaving Ellen guilt-ridden. In an attempt to redeem herself, Ellen attends the funeral and discovers the mourners share her sentiment and are glad about the woman's demise. Ellen hires a manager for the bookstore who recently suffered a breakdown.
ELLEN'S NEW FRIEND Ellen is pleasantly surprised by this month's "guilt lunch" with Audrey, the annoying friend Ellen doesn't want to hurt by ignoring. Audrey brings a friend, Jessica, with her, and Jessica is absolutely fabulous. In fact, Ellen and Paige would like to get to know Jessica better, only Ellen feels guilty about going around Audrey to become Jessica's friend. During a dinner with Audrey, Ellen discovers that Audrey is invited, but not going, to a party Jessica is having. Ellen pretends to be ill so she can drop in at the party and get to know Jessica better. Ellen's feelings of guilt about Audrey are enhanced when Audrey shows up.
THE CHRISTMAS SHOW Ellen's new boyfriend, Greg, is just too darn nice. He is so nice it's annoying, and Ellen is determined to break up with him before Christmas. But it's never the right moment. First he gives her a gift; then he tells her he loves her and then he says that - thanks to Ellen - this is the first happy Christmas he has had since his parents died in an accident 10 years before. The next thing Ellen knows, she's at Greg's house singing Christmas carols. To complicate things, Joe has fallen in love with Ellen's Christmas help, Stephanie, and Joe and Stephanie's relationship is blowing hot and cold through the bookstore, intimidating the customers. Ellen is determined to get them in line and to break up with Greg before the New Year.
ELLEN'S IMPROVEMENT When Ellen starts feeling like she's not learning anymore, she decides to embark on a course of self-improvement. Her first step is a trip to the museum, but, before she goes, she studies up on the artist and arrives at the museum with her short-term memory filled with information. She impresses Roger, the charming and good-looking UCLA professor who is standing next to her, as she discusses a painting, and he asks her out to a jazz concert. She studies jazz for the date. Unfortunately, he takes her to the opera. Ellen is forced to confess that she knows nothing about anything. Roger finds this unbelievable. "I've introduced you to the opera", he tells Ellen. "Why don't you introduce me to something you love?". So, Ellen introduces Roger to television. He is a lot less charming and appealing when he falls in love with American TV and can think and talk of nothing else.
THE APARTMENT HUNT In order to keep Audrey from moving into the neighborhood, Ellen spends three weekends apartment-hunting with her. When her patience runs thin, Ellen convinces Audrey to take a dilapidated apartment in a distant neighborhood. Ellen's relief is short-lived, because the apartment collapses around Audrey during a minor earthquake, and Audrey moves in with Ellen: The apartment hunt continues. Paige gets a lead about a fabulous guest house, which, naturally, Audrey hates. So Ellen takes it, if only to get away from Audrey. On the day Ellen moves in, the guest house is destroyed in a fast-moving fire, and Ellen is forced to move back into her old apartment with Audrey. Just when things look hopeless, Adam throws another tenant out of the building for stealing newspapers. Audrey takes the tenant's apartment and, despite all of Ellen's efforts, becomes her neighbor.
THE SPA Paige and Ellen decide to go to a spa for a nice, relaxing weekend. The experience, however, is not quite what they expected. While the hikes are beautiful and invigorating, the massage Ellen takes for her sore muscles is painful, and the mud bath just feels dirty. Their moods are not improved by the small, spartan meals or the prison-like staff. After one day of relaxation, Ellen decides she has to make a break for it, so she and Paige try to scale the fence and get some nachos at 7-Eleven. It seems like a really good idea, until they get trapped on the fence and are left dangling.
BALLET CLASS When her father brings up her childhood piano lessons at dinner, Ellen is reminded that what she really wanted was ballet lessons. In fact, she still wants to take ballet. So she signs up for an adult class. On the first night of class, it is clear that she is - by a wide margin - the least graceful student. But this does not dim her enthusiasm or her desire to dance the lead in the class recital. Six weeks later, however, despite all of her hard work and, thanks to Adam's help, tremendous improvement, another student is chosen to dance the lead. On show night, this woman throws her back out while showing Ellen how to be a graceful shrub, and Ellen replaces her in the show, fulfilling her childhood dream.
GUNS 'N ELLEN Ellen's apartment gets broken into while she's in it, destroying her sense of personal safety. She tries to get it back by going to an exercise class, buying a few home security devices, and, finally, going to a gun range with Audrey. It doesn't work. She's still paranoid. When she can no longer stay in her apartment, she retreats to her childhood bedroom. There, cuddled between her stuffed animals and her "Saturday Night Live" poster, her father helps her find the courage to confront her fears.
THE SLEEP CLINIC Ellen has had the same dream for eight nights in a row: She's kissing Adam, and she likes it. Paige thinks the dreams reflects some hidden feelings for Adam on Ellen's part. Ellen would rather not think about Adam in a sexual way at all. This is made more difficult when Adam sleeps with Audrey and then uses a fictitious relationship with Ellen to get away from her. Now Ellen finds herself pretending to be involved with Adam at the same time she is trying to avoid him altogether.
$5,000 Ellen got $5,000 from the IRS, which is good. She thinks, however, that she owed them $1,200, which is bad. When she goes to the IRS office to ask, the agent assures her that she is actually owed $5,000. She should go out and spend the money with a clear conscience. But Ellen can't bring herself to do that, so she gives the money to a charity, Helping Hand. As Ellen's luck would have it, the IRS asks for the money back right after she gives it away, and Ellen is forced to try to get it back. In theory, that is easy, but it's a lot more difficult to actually do, especially when the money has turned into toys and a play center for disadvantaged children.
THREE STRIKES Ellen lands in jail when she's arrested at a fur protest. Much to Ellen's dismay, Adam and Paige call Ellen's parents to bail her out of jail. She is even more dismayed when her parents ask the judge to release Ellen into their custody so they can keep an eye on her. Suddenly, at 32 years of age, Ellen is grounded. After a couple of days at home, she can't stand it anymore, so she sneaks out of the house and takes her father's car to attend a concert with Paige. Her parents report the car stolen, and Ellen is now in more trouble than she ever imagined possible.
THE THERAPY EPISODE Ellen wants to go skiing instead of going to brunch with her mother, so she tells her mother that she is home sick. Ellen, Paige, and Adam get trapped on the ski lift and think they are going to die. Of course they don't (because that would leave us many episodes shy of syndication), but the experience causes Ellen to be consumed with guilt. She realizes she lies to her mother a lot. In fact, their whole relationship is based on lies. Ellen resolves to change and begin a new program of honesty. But can the Morgans handle the truth?
THIRTY KILO MAN [PART 1] Ellen begins to date her old flame, Dan, after he returns from Italy with a new job. Their romance is going great, until Ellen misinterprets situations and believes Dan is part of a drug-smuggling operation. The signs are all there - import/exporting out of Miami, problems with Customs, and strange guys leaving packages. Curious, Ellen opens a package, just as her parents are arriving to meet Dan, and panics when white powder spews forward. Later, Ellen is embarrassed to learn the white powder is flour. Dan explains that he is in the food business and forgives Ellen when she explains that she is scared about their relationship but willing to give it a go. Dan agrees.
THIRTY KILO MAN [PART II] Paige is jealous because Dan and Ellen are spending so much time together. She can't reach her on the phone; it's always off the hook. She can't meet her for breakfast. Ellen stands her up. Finally, Paige can't take it anymore, and she tells Ellen that she has lost perspective. Ellen takes offense and, for the first time in their adult lives, Ellen and Paige stop speaking to each other. They run into each other at the movies, and, in the popcorn-throwing brawl that follows, they both get kicked out of the theater. Getting thrown out reminds them of all the other times they got thrown out of the movies together, and the friends are friends once more.